Tuesday, September 28, 2004 5:10 PM
Suffering . . .
Semestral Exam TimeTable is 0ut yesterday.. Starts at 27/10 n ends at 5/11.. Left 4-5 weeks t0 study f0r it n finish the EC Pr0ject.. Sigh.. I'm still stucked at the ECPJ, c0uldn't really find back my pr0ject mind.. S0bx.. Juz cuz tat I had stucked at 1 part f0r 4-5 days with0ut s0lving it, I felt tat I'm kind 0f scare 0f 'IT (Inf0rmati0n Techn0l0gy)'.. Seri0usly, really a bit regret f0r ch00sing IT instead 0f Business.. But I kn0w I w0n't change it.. N0w still have 3-4 pr0jects t0 finish up.. :( Yesterday night, h0ping t0 tune t0 my pr0ject mind.. 0pen the pr0ject, stucked at it immediately.. Sigh.. Feel the uselessness in myself.. N0rmally when I kn0w wad's wr0ng, I can immediately 0r take little time t0 s0lve the pr0blem.. But n0w...... Y? My mind always give me a blank, white place.. I c0uldn't think.. It was like swimming in a deep sea, c0uldn't find the way 0ut..
I t0ld myself tat I sh0uldn't always let the days pass like tat.. I have t0 find back my pr0ject mind immediately.. N0 much time t0 waste anym0re.. I'm really stressed.. Juz n0w skipped 1 lecture t0 d0 pr0ject.. Figuring h0w t0 delete fr0m the datagrid with database.. N0 matter h0w many different c0ding I had tried, n0ne w0rked 0ut.. Tat time I feel like g0ing h0me.. I DUN WANNA SEE C0MP.. My mind is getting heavier.. Sigh.. Den I juz try my luck t0 'view as br0wser' again.. What the ....... It w0rks.. Yeah.. It works.. But I'm n0t happy, instead I kept thinking wad did I change the c0ding.. Y suddenly can w0rk again.. Anyway, I juz h0pe tat when I 0pen the pr0ject the next time, it will w0rk..
W0ndering shall I set my mind 0n pr0jects this week.. But this c0ming Thursday has DBMS Quiz n Financial Quiz.. If I'm g0nne t0n t0 study f0r it.. Can I tahan? Sigh.. I'm w0rking at Friday 0s0 from 6pm t0 2am.. If I t0n.. Maybe at w0rkplace will be yawning like sia0 char b0 n make many mistakes.. wad sh0uld I d0.. Flung my quiz? T0n f0r it? Dun d0 pr0ject instead? I can't waste my time.. 0r dun w0rk? Actually I can dun w0rk, but I wanna earn $$ even th0ugh I'm n0t in the need 0f $$.. Well.. Even if I dun w0rk, I at h0me 0s0 think I w0n't c0ncentrate 0n studies 0r pr0ject.. I kn0w I w0n't.. S0 wad f0r..
After saying 0ut h0w terrible I feel t0day, I'm really feeling much better..Is time t0 get back t0 my pr0ject.. Failure n0w, doesn't mean everytime always failure.. There will always be s0mething tat u will be g00d at.. Dun fall d0wn easily.. =D Tat's h0w I enc0urage myself..
** When u can't d0 s0mething, dun give up.. Give urself s0me times, by then u can make it.. **