Tuesday, September 21, 2004 11:02 PM
Cryz . . .
Well.. Busy dun seem t0 be g00d either.. Th0ugh it can make u c0ncentrate 0n 1 thing n f0rget the 0ther things s0 tat u w0n't think t00 much abt.. But 0ccasi0nally mem0ry will still flashes by.. When 0ne is busy, the 0ther will think tat maybe dun disturb he/her better.. Whereas he/she will thk tat y the 0ther nv chat wif he/her.. Always like tat.. Many negative p0ints will came 0ut.. Yeah.. Think t00 much.. Actually is n0 pr0blem 0s0 bec0me g0t pr0blem.. C0mmunicati0n break d0wn..
This week since ytd I had been feeling gl00my.. Life n0w always either pr0jects, study 0r w0rk.. N0 much time f0r 0ther things.. H0w I wish I have :( S0metimes I think 0f him, think until I feel like crying.. Stupid rite.. I dunn0 y.. I stress till I really scare 0f t0uching the c0mputer.. I wish tat I can say 0ut h0w I'm feeling t0 s0me1.. Wh0 willing t0 hear.. Sigh.. Everyday see pr0jects, study.. Came h0me, n0b0dy at h0me.. N0 much ppl I can talk t0.. There's s0 much things b0thering me.. I still need t0 swall0w it d0wn.. S0metimes 0s0 hugging my b0lster, l0ck myself in my r00m n cry secretly.. I really very 'fan'.. N0w even write bl0g, tears 0s0 r0lled d0wn my cheeks.. I feel like screaming.. Feel like spliting 0ut everything t0 s0me1 tat I c0nfide in.. But even if I had f0und 1, I kn0e I 0s0 can't say it 0ut.. Haiz..
T0day I gave myself a s0-called pr0ject day 0ff.. N0 pr0ject.. Spent 6 h0urs n 30 minutes studying at the Discussi0n r00m wif Cheryl.. Managed t0 finish 3 chapters.. Better than n0thing.. Glad tat we were able t0 study in this kind 0f envir0nment.. Sigh.. Seri0usly I dun wish t0 g0 h0me.. H0w I h0pe tat I can t0n at sk00l.. Came back h0me d0 wad? 0nline, bathe den sleep.. I dun wanna 0nline but I still press 0nt0 the c0nnect.. Sigh.. Cuz I wanna see his nick 0nline.. Juz tat.. I dunn0 y.. Th0ugh I did expect m0re.. But f0rget it.. I kn0e I'm useless.. My energy, brain cells had been used up.. I dun dare t0 make any m0ve.. N0w w/0 Air-C0n 0r fan 0n, I still feel s0 c0ld.. Is like shivering.. H0w I wish tat s0me1 is always by my side giving me the warmest hug.. *cRyz*
** I juz need a bit 0f enc0uragement fr0m u.. Tat will be enuff.. But where's it ?! **