Wednesday, October 13, 2004 1:10 AM
Thinking . . .
All this while, I had been using my pr0ject as an excuse n0t t0 d0 this n tat.. Using my pr0ject t0 av0id as many things as p0ssible.. N0w thinking tat pr0ject is g0ing t0 c0me t0 an end, I kind 0f unwillingly t0 let it g0.. Th0ugh it had gave me s0 many sleepless night, stress, unhappiness, etc., it made me really spent my time d0ing it.. Well, next week is my deadline f0r my pr0ject, shall I be happy 0r wad? Happy tat pr0ject finally finish, finally can enj0y myself? N0t happy tat I g0t t0 face reality n can't av0id things.. Seri0usly, after d0ing s0 much f0r this pr0ject, I really dun feel like letting g0 abt wad I had researched f0r, learnt f0r the pr0jects.. Which means tat in the end f0rget everything.. But all these while, I enj0y d0ing this EC Pr0ject.. :( Can I always be in this pr0ject w0rld, w/0 facing reality.. I really hate t0 face reality, hate t0 make decisi0n, hate t0 think s0 much, hate t0 hurt ppl, hate t0 d0 this n tat.. Reality has much m0re tr0ubles f0r me.. But I kn0e I can't av0id, I still have t0 face it.. Sigh.. This pr0ject really made me f0rget quite a l0t 0f things, av0id a l0t 0f things which I dunn0 h0w t0 face it.. L00ks like there are m0re things awaiting f0r me t0 g0 settle, think n d0..
T0day finally finished my st0re fr0nt website pr0ject after strugglings f0r s0 many days.. Left 7 days t0 hand in the pr0ject.. Can I finish it? Depends 0n whether u have c0nfident in me a n0t.. Me? I guess I have c0nfidence in myself.. Tml will be starting my back st0re website.. :( Juz n0w I deleted s0me 0f the useless files fr0m my pr0ject.. I accidentally deleted the index.aspx.vb (Main page).. 0mg.. Y I'm s0 careless.. Tat time I panicked, trying t0 retrieve it.. I rest0red the file, but n0t w0rking.. I'm s0 scare till I nearly cry.. Thking tat wad I had d0ne s0 much all g0nna g0ne.. Will die.. Lucky is 0nly the index page n0t w0rking.. I red0 it.. Scare the hell 0ut 0f my wits ! Phew.. After d0uble checking tat everything w0rks, I went t0 play CS.. 0s0 n0thing much t0 say abt the rest 0f my day..
** Can I dun face the reality ? I'm t00 weak in tat.. **